Saltimbanco
by Wordblock-93
Summary: As Eren and Historia's captivity grows longer, Mikasa feels the weight of their absence. Dreamless sleeps turn into nightmares until it begins to affect her work ethic. Levi offers a solution. (Aged up Mikasa) *Rivamika Week 2014 Entry Day 2*


**_*Inspired by the song "Distance" by Christina Perri feat. Jason Mraz*_**

*Eight pages of RivaMika at your service :)

 ** _"The sun is filling up the room/and I can hear you dreaming/ do you feel the way I do right now"_**

Mikasa had yet another dreamless 4 hours of sleep. Ever since Eren and Historia had been sent off, she had been having more of them. Her lack of dreams matched how she was starting to feel inside: dark and empty. She knew that this was a part of the plan, but leaving Eren and Historia in the hands of the enemy for so long was starting to wear on her nerves. As was routine for the soldiers, she rose at dawn, took her shower and dressed, and soon after joined her fellow comrades-more like family- at breakfast.

"How did you sleep Mikasa?" Armin politely inquired.

"Well enough" She curtly responded. Armin noticed her tense disposition and concern etched onto his face, but he left it be. He knew that she would talk to him about it if it were that big of a deal.

 ** _"I wish we would just give up/cuz the best part is falling/ call it anything but love and I will..."_**

Levi and Hanji walked into the room, Levi with his usual stoic expression and Hanji beaming. The squad looked at the pair and grew apprehensive; Hanji only got that excited when they had a crazy plan. That meant the next mission would be soon.

"What are you looking at brats? Finish your breakfast. We have a long day of training." Their captain warned as he sat down at the head of the table. He observed his squad as he was eating: Sasha and Connie joking around, but with less fervor than usual. Jean's face holding the same grimace he's had for the past month or so, Armin watching, observing like his captain, but eating contently nonetheless, and Mikasa looking… dead. The rings around her eyes were growing darker as the days passed. _Ackerman's not sleeping enough_ , he noted to himself, meaning to bring it to her attention when they had the time. Mikasa noted him watching her and blushed, suddenly becoming immensely focused on a blueberry on her plate. He shook his head, a slight quirk in his lips as he started eating.

He and Mikasa's training time was a half hour after breakfast, so she walked to the clearing about a half mile behind the house, stretching to prepare for the sparring to come. Levi joined her, his shirt removed but his uniform pants still on. Despite them fighting like this since they had gotten out here, she still managed a faint blush whenever she saw him shirtless. She hid her reddened cheeks behind her scarf and stood, crouching into her defensive position.

Levi, eyebrow up, approached her, "I guess you're ready to start then." He too crouched at the knees, steadying himself, "Let's begin."

 ** _"Make sure to keep my distance/say I love you and you're not listening/how long can we keep this up?"_**

Fists began to fly. Mikasa was on the defensive the whole time, dodging his punches left and right. She ducked when he sent a roundhouse kick her way and blocked the high kicks that were sent toward her head. But she wasn't attacking at all.

"Ackerman, if I wanted to just keep hitting something, I'd go hit a tree. Attack me." Levi chided before giving her a swift kick in the ribs with enough force to break them. She hopped backwards in the nick of time, landing on her toes, barely missing the powerful kick.

Mikasa sighed, collecting herself mentally. Her heart rate was up, the adrenaline was flowing. She took a step back, crouching into her attack position, and it was Levi that went on the defensive. Mikasa's eyes narrowed, honing in on her target. Levi, taunting her, gestured his fingers in a come-hither motion. A second later she struck.

The first punch hit his stomach, and he recoiled, but straightened himself out. The next was a 1-2 combo, ending with an uppercut; however Levi blocked her punches and dodged her uppercut.

"Mikasa, pick it up. Let's go." Levi called out her sluggishness.

She inhaled deeply, filling her lungs with the crisp morning air before releasing her torrent of punches. Levi dodged them, but threw in some of his own. They went on like this for another ten minutes, punching, dodging and kicking. It was like a dance for them. Over the past year that she had been in the Survey Corps, Levi had watched her, learned her idiosyncrasies in bouts against the Titans. Mikasa, though she hated him during that time, couldn't help but respect him. She wanted to surpass him, initially to protect Eren better, but by now her motives had altered. She wanted to protect her new found family. Including her sparring partner.

Mikasa started losing her fire after another five minutes, her breathing becoming shallow, her moves losing ferver. Less than a minute later, Levi had her pinned. He was straddling her legs and had her arms locked to the ground in both of his hands. Mikasa, disappointed with herself for being this weak and tired after twenty minutes, hung her head in shame.

"Ackerman." She looked up at him, her eyes acknowledging him, "You're not getting enough sleep. Why?" Her dark eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion.

"Have you been spying on me?" Mikasa's tone held daggers.

"I don't have to. Your moves were sluggish. You were worn out after catching a rabbit in training yesterday," he circled his thumb around her eyes, "the dark circles are coming back." His eyes softened in concern, but his grip was still relentless, "Ackerman, talk to me."

"There's…nothing to talk about, Captain." She replaced the cool facade she had become so adept in wearing, "I'm fine. Are we finished?"

Levi shook his head, half frustrated, half amused, "Look Ackerman. You're good. One of the best. But whatever the reason, you need to sort it out, whether it's by talking with me or Armin or whomever. We need you in top shape. _"I need you here with me,"_ He thought to himself. He rolled onto his heels and stood over her, extending an arm to help her up. She grabbed it and hoisted herself, and they stood there, her looking at the ground and him watching her.

"Ackerman,"

"Hmm?" She looked up, her eyes catching his.

"Meet me in my office before you go to sleep tonight. We need to discuss this."

"Captain," Mikasa's face flushed at his command, but she nodded, "is that all?"

"Yes. Go clean up and rest."

Mikasa pivoted and walked back toward the base. Levi stood there, watching her, thinking about their whole exchange. He noted something: Even though he ordered her to do something that made her blush, she didn't used that raggedy scarf to cover her face. That tidbit made him smile. She was obstinate and clueless, but she may finally decide to let him in. He grabbed his shirt, folded it over his arm neatly, and walked back towards the base.

 ** _"Please don't stand so close to me/ I'm having trouble breathing/I'm afraid of what you'll see right now"_**

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully for the two of them. Mikasa practiced her 3DMG and went over strategies with Armin and Hanji, Levi trained with each member of his squad individually; the human enemies that they were up against were faster, smarter, and better at weaponry than the titans that they faced. They shot at trees for target practice, using the weapons they stole from the Military police captives, and became used to using them.

They all ate dinner, and soon Mikasa retired to her room and laid on her bed, her body completely spent. She almost began removing her uniform but then she remembered her captain's command. She exhaled, stood up and made her way to his room.

Right when Mikasa raised her hand to knock, his door opened. She hesitated, looking down at her superior, and him eyeing her. "Did you want to come in or would you rather stand there?"

She moved to step inside and he opened his door wider, gingerly closing the door behind her. She stopped, taking in his living quarters. It really was no different than hers, except he had a chestnut colored desk in his room, which had neat stacks of papers sitting on top of it. His bed was pristine, not a crease in his sheets, and the nightstand near the head of his bed had a slightly used candle and a book on it. Everything was short, simple and to the point, just like her captain.

Speaking of which, he was still standing by the door, "Do you approve?" He teased, stepping to her side.

"It looks…just like the rest of our rooms, except for the desk."

"Well, we're not at our base. When you're the enemy of the state, there is no favor amongst ranks. We're all just trying to survive, and I don't need a huge space to do so."

Mikasa considered his words in silence. He stepped in front of her, closing in on some of the distance between them, "Now, are you going to tell me what's been keeping you up at night?"

"It's nothing. I guess my sleep pattern is just off," she looked away, avoiding his eyes.

"You've always been a terrible liar, Mikasa." He shook his head, chuckling.

Mikasa froze. He called her by her first name, and then he _chuckled_. She never heard anything close to laughter come out of his mouth.

"Why are you lying to me?" Levi inquired. There was nothing accusatory in his tone, he seemed simply curious.

"My problems are my problems, Captain. I don't want to weigh anyone down with them, so I'll deal with them myself. I'll be fine." She crossed her arms over her chest, defiant.

"No you won't. What I told you out there during sparring today was not just to be an ass. Your moves were sluggish. You were exhausted. We need you in top shape. I don't care what you have to do, just get some sleep. You can even stay in here if you want."

Mikasa froze at his last sentence, her face incredulous.

"Captain…" Mikasa brought her scarf to her face, "that's not appropriate. I'm your soldier."

"As I told you before, we're out of the realm of rules. I'm not trying to sleep with you or anything, brat. Don't flatter yourself. I just need my best soldier to get some rest." Despite his harsh words, his eyes softened as he stared into her eyes, noting the dark circles only growing darker.

"I…I just don't think that'll be a good idea. I-If you don't need me for anything else, I'll just leave now." Mikasa nervously saluted and turned towards the door.

"Mikasa, if you can't sleep tonight, my door will be unlocked."

She nodded, making a beeline for the door and swiftly walking to her room.

 ** _"I give you everything I am/ all my broken heartbeats/ until I know you'll understand"_**

This time, there wasn't a dreamless sleep, but she wished it had been. Mikasa was lost in herself, seeing one of her worst fears come to pass. There was the king and his henchmen, walking toward her brother who was strapped down to the ground. She heard a whir of voices, _'Mikasa, help me!' 'Where's Historia?' 'Kill the Titan Shifter!' 'He has to die!_ ' All of this ringing in her head. She tried to fly to her brother, to get him out of harm's way, but the 3DMG wasn't faster than a bullet. Six shots rang out, each one making Eren's body convulse until he closed his eyes. Then one more shot went through his head.

Mikasa woke up in a sweat, tears falling down her face. She scolded herself for getting so worked up over a little nightmare, but she was terrified for her brother nonetheless. She hadn't seen him in almost a month, and there was no way of knowing how he was. She didn't know how nor under what conditions she would find him in. Despite this, Mikasa tried to find sleep, but it eluded her. She tossed and turned, slipping into half consciousness but never fully falling asleep. She had about six hours before she had to rise, so she tried all she could to gain some peace of mind.

She couldn't.

Levi's invitation rang in her mind again, but she was conflicted. She knew it would be improper, her sleeping in the same bed as her superior, but she also knew that it was way too late to start worrying about propriety. " _This isn't about me and Captain Levi,_ " She decided, " _This is for all of us._ " With that, she rose out of bed and opened her door, checking to see if anyone was in the hall. Satisfied that the coast was clear, she tip-toed to her captain's room. Her hand slowly reached toward the doorknob, doubt starting to invade her mind, but she exhaled and grabbed it, twisting it. Captain Levi kept his word, Mikasa noted as the door opened and she noticed his silhouette; he was sitting up looking at her. She should have known he would be a light sleeper.

She crawled into bed with him, "No, I don't want to talk about it." She further expressed her sentiment by turning her back to him and laying down. She soon felt a shift behind her, and guessed that he had decided to go back to sleep. Satisfied with his compliance, she closed her eyes, attempting to sleep again.

But she couldn't.

Not because of her fears, but she kept feeling motion behind her. When she turned around, she noticed her captain tossing and turning, groaning, breathing hard, like he was fighting. She froze. She assumed he was having a nightmare, but she wasn't sure what to do. He released a hoarse shriek, followed by quick, shallow breathing. Mikasa grabbed his shoulder and shook him, trying to break him out of this nightmare. He kept moving, almost hitting her.

"Captain! Captain, wake up. It's just a dream!" She whispered as loudly as she could, his movements paused for a second, but his nightmare continued. At a loss, she just grabbed him and wrapped her arms around him, trying to keep him from moving. With a bit of effort, she managed to trap his legs within her own. "Captain Levi," She spoke into his ear, "it's just a dream. I'm here." Slowly, his tossing and turning subsided, his breathing quieted into silent sobbing.

Once she was sure that he was out of the dark world his subconscious dragged him into, she relinquished control. She watched him for two more minutes before feeling drowsy herself. She was almost completely asleep when she felt a strong arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer to him. She opened her arms, allowing Levi access, and she felt his tears stain her night shirt as his breathing became more even.

 ** _"And I will make sure to keep my distance/say I love you and you're not listenin'/and how long can we keep this up?"_**

About a week had passed since Mikasa had started sleeping in Levi's quarters, and though she would hate to admit it, she was getting the best sleep that she had gotten in a long time. She also would hate to admit that the feelings that she had developed for her captain earlier were beginning to flare up again. Seeing him vulnerable and letting her in the way he did made her actually consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, he may have feelings for her too.

"Get to work brat." Captain Levi barked at her. She hadn't noticed that she had completely stopped scrubbing the floor as she drifted into her reflection of the past week. She fervently continued scrubbing, trying to get close to his standard of perfection. _"Things may change, but some things will always stay the same,_ " she thought to herself.

Despite how close they were getting after hours, Captain Levi started riding her harder than anyone else. The training sessions lasted longer and were much more involved. Their sparring sessions bordered on all out fights. It took everything Mikasa had not to fall out from exhaustion at the dinner table. One night, Mikasa barged into the Corporal's room, fuming.

"You've got some nerve, Captain."

His eyebrow rose, expecting an explanation.

"I understand that I'm the strongest and that you want me to be in top shape. I'm not upset about the training sessions. But your disrespect is pissing me off. Look shorty, ever since you've invited me in, you've been treating me more like crap than everybody else, and they're noticing. So why?

"Why what?" Levi leaned back in his chair, balancing on the two hind legs.

"Why are you treating me like this?" Mikasa retorted.

 _Because I want you to live_. "Because I know you can handle it." He started working on the huge piece of paper on his desk, "now if you'll excuse me, I have to work on our strategy to get Eren and Historia back. Do you really want to keep interrupting me?"

Despite his task at hand, Mikasa grew irate. She was seething. She strode to his desk, slammed her hands down and brought her face to his. "If you don't stop treating me like a dog in front of them, I'll stop coming in here."

"Is that so?" He taunted.

"Bye Levi." She turned on her heels and walked toward the door, "You should lock you door tonight."

At the sound of the door closing, Levi slammed his head on his desk. He wasn't sure what he was feeling for the girl, but damn she kept his nightmares at bay. He probably needed her more than she needed him at this point. He sighed, _"It'll be a long night."_ He thought to himself as he continued developing the strategy.

 ** _"And I keep waiting for you to take me/you keep waiting to save what we have"_**

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Mikasa stared at the shirtless man across from her, the blowing wind deafening her.

"I said, I'm sorry." He stepped up to her, crouching into his fighting stance.

"I accept." She smirked before lowering herself into her stance. "Now let's go."

 _ **"So I'll make sure to keep my distance/say I love you and you're not listenin'…"**_

Tonight, she came in and surprisingly found him still awake, reading by candlelight. When she walked toward the bed, Levi put his book down, folding the covers back to welcome her into her space. Mikasa very gingerly pulled the covers up to her chest and turned toward him, resting her head on her right arm. She stared at him, anxiety coloring her features. Nothing got past Levi, so immediately he noticed the change in her disposition.

"What is it?" He eyed her, half joking and half concerned, "the nightmares coming back again?"

"No…" she answered, "but…"

"But?"

"Levi, what are we?" She asked, trying to mask her trepidation with false confidence. Despite the boldness of her question, she was afraid. It was not very often that she was so bold in confronting the object of her affection. She never told Eren how she felt about him, but instead kept it to herself until the feelings faded.

"Mmmm," he hummed, thinking very carefully until he arrived at his answer, "we're partners."

Mikasa's heart palpitated when she heard his response, "Partners?"

"Well it only makes sense. We're both the best at what we do. We understand each other without having to speak a word, which we often don't do anyway. We're always in sync when we fight now, and you're much better at putting your personal feelings aside than you were a year ago. We're partners."

"Oh," was all she said. She didn't want to speak more for fear of the disappointment seeping into her tone. She wasn't so sure how to respond without giving herself away, so she turned her back to him and closed her eyes. _"And there goes another one,"_ she thought to herself. She felt him running his fingers through her hair and sighed, feeling calmer as he continued his ministrations.

After a while, she heard him speak again, very softly.

"Maybe one day in the future, but right now, there's too much going on. I can't afford to lose someone else and have a part of myself go with them." She froze, shocked at his admission, but elated. He placed his arm around her waist and pulled himself closer to her, bringing his mouth to her ear, "I know you're not asleep yet, brat. I meant for you to hear every word I said." She was completely paralyzed at this point both by his proximity and the confirmation she just received.

Levi snorted when he felt her stiffen and interlaced his fingers with hers.

 ** _"How long 'til we call this love?"_**


End file.
